Kid Screaming Movies

1.) Don’t cramp or invade my personal space!
At the Riddick screening a few weeks back, an Asian college student sat behind me. And as soon as the movie started, he took off his black Converses and put his funky feet on the seat next to me. His feet were almost in my mouth. I turned around and sternly told him that he had to either put his feet on the floor or find a different seat. There are 450 seats in the IMAX theatre and he wants to put his nasty feet in my weave. UGH

Also, don’t sit right next to me and there are 10 million other seats to choose from. You’re basically sitting on my lap without my permission. Sometimes, I go to the movies to be by myself. I don’t want to be on a forced blind date because you like to get cozy with strangers. If the movie theatre is not packed, please follow the 1-Seat Respect Rule!

2.) Find a baby sitter!
Please don’t bring your 6 month old baby to the movies, especially if the movie is Rated R. You keep getting up to change the baby’s diaper. The toddler is running all up and down the handicap aisle, knocking over everyone’s snacks. The baby starts crying or yelling gibberish. It’s just not ok!

I’m a dedicated mommy. And with that responsibility, I know that there are some movies that my little ones can NOT see. As a result, I have to find an appropriate caregiver to watch them while I go to the movies. Children are a distraction and a complete hindrance to the rest of the audience trying to enjoy the movie.

3.) Close your mouth when you are eating your butter infested popcorn!
There are already so many elements like natural sound, cell phone ringing, and finger tapping, that I do not want to hear you eating. The sound of people gnawing at their overpriced chicken tenders makes my stomach hurt. And the edible soundtrack doesn’t stop there. The same person who usually can’t eat with their mouth close is the same person who slurps on their 40 oz. Diet Coke all night. The additional sound effects make for a disastrous movie experience.

4.) Don’t keep getting up!
Do you have a bladder infection? Are they giving out free samples in the hallway? Why do you keep getting up? There aren’t enough “excuse me” gestures in the world to validate someone who keeps getting up during a movie. It’s annoying because I have to break my concentration as you gallop back and forth in front of the screen. Go to the bathroom, grab your snacks, and turn off your phone before you start watching a movie. It’s simple!

5.) Cut it out with the excessive talking!
Last night at the Pittsburgh premiere of Prisoners, I felt like everybody was talking. The movie theatre is NOT a call-and-respond activity and screaming at the big screen isn’t rational. You sit there, you remain silent and you enjoy the movie. We can have an open discussion once the movie is over but not after every scene. Yesterday, some man literally had a conversation with his friend during the entire movie.

If you follow the 5 rules above, I’m quite confident everybody will have a great time. Basically, just sit back, relax and enjoy the movie!

If you have any movie pet peeves, please feel free to comment below…

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