Get Hard Passes

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The prison-bound manager, James King (Will Ferrell) of a hedge fund asks a black businessman, Darnell Lewis (Kevin Hart) — who has never been to jail — to prepare him for life behind bars.

Warner Brothers Pictures and Movie Scene Queen are hosting a March 23rd screening in the Waterfront.  The screening begins at 7:30 PM.  Please comment with your best jail/prison story.  I’ll start with mine…

When I was in high school, my mom put my friends and I in a Scared Straight program at Allegheny County Jail.  Even though we weren’t juvenile delinquents, we brewed our own share of mischief and trouble like most teenagers.  We spent an entire afternoon in the women’s pod.  We were everything but scared.  I was actually freaked out.  The inmates kept talking about the possible lesbian rape.  It was kinda creepy to say the least.

Much Love,

Movie Scene Queen

Neighbors

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Seth Rogen and Rose Byrne star in Neighbors as Mac and Kelly Radner, a couple with a new baby and the neighbors from Hell. Shortly after getting settled into their new home, the Radners found out a fraternity is moving next door. The new Neighbors are led by a cocky and unruly fraternity president, Teddy (Zac Efron). After a few noise disturbances, the Radner wages a war against the band of brothers. Rogen co-produced Neighbors alongside his childhood friend, Evan Goldberg, and This Is The End (2013) producer, James Weaver.

In true Seth Rogen form, Neighbors possesses inappropriate, radical humor, excessive nudity, and shameless impressions, creating non-stop laughter. Also, in alignment with other Seth Rogen movies like Knocked Up (2007), there’s always a deeper issue besides the goofs and giggles. However, once you get to the serious climax you are already so exhausted from unwarranted laughter that the bulk of the plot gets swept under the rug.

I appreciate Seth Rogen’s consistency though. From The 40-Year-Old Virgin (2005) to Neighbors, he has literally plays himself in every movie. Rogen has lost some weight but he’s still the same old Seth. The most notable characteristics, like consistency, are sometimes criticized by main stream media. But, I truly admire his work.

It’s necessary to take a few moments to discuss the impeccable physique of Zac Efron. Ripped straight from page 36 of an Abercrombie and Fitch catalog, the actor is flawless. The movie makes its own jabs at Efron’s attractiveness, but he’s nothing too shy of a young Mel Gibson. The 26-year-old might be one of the most beautiful men I have ever laid eyes on. (Ok, that’s enough!)

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Other than Maya Rudolph, black actors, specifically female comedians, have yet to infiltrate the world of mainstream comedies in the new millennium. Stepbrothers (2008), Anchorman (2004), Pineapple Express (2008), Superbad (2007) and other new millennium amusing films don’t have any African Americans in leading roles. Martin Lawrence, Eddie Murphy, and now, Kevin Hart literally created their own genre of comedy movies to cater to the Black people.

Saturday Night Live’s last slavery stunt with comedienne Leslie Jones is a prime example of how White America doesn’t not fully comprehend the integration of African American comedy and sensitivity. I got the joke! I even chuckled at the joke! But the full execution of the skit was poorly timed and confusingly aggressive. Jones’ look was a complete mess, which made the skit almost unbearable to watch. SNL creators should have flagged that segment with stupidity and corniness before it aired.

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3.5 Stars: Neighbors should come with a bold disclaimer. Although extremely humorous, the movie is highly inappropriate for anyone under the age of 18. But what else did you expect from Seth Rogen and his team of racy creators? The movie is in theatres Friday, May 9th.

The To Do List

The To Do List
Do you remember Trapper Keepers, skorts, Home Improvement, Bill Cosby sweaters, or the unstableness of a waterbed? Gas was $1.16 a gallon (no fuel perks) and Bill Clinton was recently elected as the 42nd President of the United States.

In 1993, I was 5 years old. But I got a taste of high school in the early 1990s after watching CBS Films The To Do List starring Aubrey Plaza, Johnny Simmons, Bill Hader, and Scott Porter. Brandy Clark (Plaza) recently graduates from high school and realizes that she’s an inexperienced virgin. After pressure from her promiscuous friends and well-endowed older sister, Brandy creates a to do list of sex acts she wants to commit before she goes to college in the Fall. With the entire summer at her disposal, Brandy learns a lot about herself as a lifeguard at a local swimming pool.

Like most teenagers, Brandy is curious about sex and her innocence only exacerbates her interest. Her big sister, Amber (Rachel Bilson) gives her useless tips on how to “score,” while her best friends, Fiona (Alia Shawkat) and Wendy (Sarah Steele) complicate their friendships by fighting over guys.

This is the first I’ve heard of Aubrey Plaza but she was absolutely brilliant. She’s pretty much the Stacey Dash of the millennium. Like the Clueless superstar, Aubrey Plaza is 29 years old and easily plays the role of a 17-year-old. Plaza is frail yet cute and spunky and she completely dazzles the big screen as sexually awkward Brandy Clark.

It was easy to reminiscence because the music in the To Do List reminds you exactly where you were in 1993. I know you’re thinking I was riding my big wheel and watching Mister Rogers but I remember songs like O.P.P by Naughty by Nature and MC Hammer’s U Can’t Touch This. The movie is also filled with sex songs that coincide with the movie’s raunchiness like 2 Live Crew’s Me So Horny, Rump Shaker by Wreckx-N-Effect, and Let’s Talk About Sex by Salt-n-Pepa. It’s hard not to believe that an average high schooler in 1993 wasn’t thinking about sex with all of the sexual music references.

4 Stars: The To Do List, in theatres July 26th, is refreshing yet proactive. Definitely not appropriate for anyone under 18 but an accurate account of how teenagers feel about sex. It’s juicy with new comedy and overall, a moviemaking delight.

Throwback Movie of The Month- SUPERSTAR (April 2013)

Superstar

Derived from Saturday Night Live, Molly Shannon plays awkwardly built and socially challenged high schooler Mary Katherine Gallagher in the 1999 movie, Superstar.  After many tragic accidents, Mary Katherine Gallagher (and you have to say her full name) realized that she wants to be a SUPERSTAR.  She never really channeled what kind of star she wants be.  In several horrible attempts, Mary Katherine Gallagher experiments with singing, dancing, and acting.  After a vicious fight with the most popular girl in school, Evian (Elaine Hendrix), Mary Katherine Gallagher stuns everyone at her audition for the school talent show.

Her immediate motivation for stardom and fame is to get the attention of the most popular guy in school, Sky Corrigan (Will Ferrell).  To Mary Katherine Gallagher, her superstar status would be solidified with one Hollywood style kiss (with Sky of course).  Just in true love story fashion, Sky falls for Mary Katherine Gallagher after she wins the talent show.  He plants a big wet one on her and it’s a complete DUD!  After enduring 7 seconds of torture, Mary Katherine Gallagher receives a better kiss from someone as equally unique as her, Eric Slater (Harland Williams).  Eric is the weirdo from special education class whose silence, due to a speech impediment, makes the entire school thinks that he’s a murderer.  At the beginning of the movie, you find out that Eric is the little boy that Mary Katherine Gallagher saves at the swimming pool. (He has the birth mark that looks like shit!)

This distorted storyline and unrealistic antics only makes the movie better.  Although critics have given Superstar some of the worst reviews ever, similar to Norbit, it’s good comedy with no real plot. It’s definitely a $5 Wal-Mart Bin winner!!!

4.5 STARS: It’s stupidity at its finest!!!

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